The Functional Hermit

musings from a homebody

Posts Tagged ‘Brett Favre

Brett Favre: The slow, sad goodbye

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How much would you risk for one more walk in the sun? Brett Favre has put far more into jeopardy than he possibly ever imagined by coming back for one last season, again.

There was a time when the very large percentage of my soul that is a football fan was in awe of all things Brett Favre. This started in the 90’s and continued for over a decade. The way he played the game was like a schoolboy enjoying his first recess in months. His meetings with the press after the games were honest, blunt and entertaining. Beneath his feet was sacred ground.

It seemed any mistake would be forgiven because of all he had given to the sport. His mistakes on the field and his aw-shucks demeanor were part of what made him so human. He seemed like some guy you knew who just ended up there somehow. Outside of some comments he made when Javon Walker made a contract holdout from the Green Bay Packers, he never came close to making a mistake off the field.

He had it all it seemed. A Hall of Fame NFL career. Lucrative off-field endorsements. A loving family and devoted wife who is a cancer survivor at that.

Then he started considering retirement. Now hit the repeat button and hold it down. Professional sports is big business and it’s understandable that the Packers would want to move forward with a person willing to commit beyond the current season. When the Packerrs tried to play that card, Brett balked. He walked his game to the NY Jets for one forgettable year that all contemporary  sports legends seemingly have to experience before walking away.

Then he defied historic pattern, went to the Vikings and the magic came back. They marched all the way to the NFC Championship and were so close to a dream Super Bowl they could taste it and were able to coax Brett back for one more try. I say coax because at no time this season has it ever seemed like Brett really wanted to be playing in the NFL. Have you ever seen footage of players arriving at the stadium? I saw Brett arrive for his first game this year and he looked like a man walking to a root canal. The chips are not going the Vike’s way this year and there is little joy visible in Brett’s game.

But he was clean. Not like a politician who claims to have never, ever have watched porn of any kind. Brett was clean because he generally came across like a regular guy. Nobody ever really imagined him doing anything but what regular guys would do.

Then came the Jenn Sterger controversy. He has admitted to leaving the alleged voicemails but denies sending her pictures of him fondling himself. According to the report, the pictures were sent from the same number as the voicemails. So if he left the voicemails, someone went to a CIA/gangster hacker level of trouble to make it ‘look like’ he sent the pictures. If he had not come back for this last season with the Vikings, I doubt anyone would really give a rat’s ass about this story.

So here’s what Brett has laid on the line to play this season. First is his legacy as a football player, with the added tarnish of an athlete who doesn’t know how to walk away from the game with grace or dignity. Second is his streak of consecutive games started, which I think is way, way more important to Brett than he ever admits or maybe even realizes. His aging body is going to require him to sit a few games if he is going to rely on his body come playoff time.

But beyond that, with the recent scandal, what else can he lose? His wife and loving family? Clearly shady things were going on. His endorsements? If not, I guess being a Wrangler-kind-of-guy means courting women with cock photos.

He had it all. And for this one season, he could lose it. Maybe he doesn’t give a shit. That’s his right. Personally, I think he needs a little more George Costanza in him. Always leave them wanting more…

Written by the bee dub

October 28, 2010 at 10:38 am

An open letter to LeBron James

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Dear LeBron,

You are way too in love with the idea of media coverage. You and Brett Favre clearly have an undeniable dependency on appearing in the media. This is extremely unhealthy because the level of coverage you both seek far, far outweighs the public’s actual interest in your activities.

Please contact Brett and see if you can both seek help together which would surely give you a break on the cost of treatment. We could all use a break from hearing your names whenever we watch Sportscenter. Seriously. We need some time off. I mean it.


Functional Hermit

Written by the bee dub

July 8, 2010 at 2:02 pm

Posted in Daily Happenings

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NFL Opening Day 2009:

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ny_giants_car_magnetSeptember. A time of year when folks from all over the country come to enjoy Chicago’s most temperate time of year. But screw all that. And those people. I’m here for football.

Normally the opening day of the NFL would be commemorated with waking up early, getting all errands dealt with, then locking the front door and hunkering down to the serious business that is being a fan of American professional football.

This year, I flew to Chicago to soak in 36 hours of college and pro pigskin action with my friend Furr. I knew I picked the right friend to do this with when he makes the comment, “Let’s try to make sure we don’t have to leave the house for anything on Sunday.” Damn right. Our other friend Dan was just here a few days ago and it’s too bad we couldn’t all get together for this. It’s the only way I would have had a better time than I did.

I boarded a noon-ish plane on Saturday and immediately got stuck in a traffic jam once we left O’Hare International. But we did get back to his widescreen in time to see Tennessee go down (sorry Ryan).

l woods

For dinner he suggested a place he described as a Wisconsin hunting lodge. Who was I to disagree? Besides the overabundance of Notre Dame fans who loudly bemoaned the last minutes of their loss to Michigan, the place kicked ass. Salad. Flatbread with pesto, cheese and Italian sausage. Dry rub baby backs. This was good eating. Too good.

We went back to his place and did a shot of bourbon to get ourselves going again but we never achieved the same enthusiasm we had before dinner. Oh well, we did watch Ohio State lose to yet another ranked, non-conference USC and caught highlights of Serena Williams supposedly ‘threatening’ a US Open official. Weird. Called it a night and made plans for breakfast.

over easy cafe

This was a key call as it was to serve as the foundation for the biggest day of the year. Furr directed us to a new breakfast discovery of his and it kicked ass. I got a poorly named dish called Sassy Eggs. The name is lame but the eggs layered with cheese, chorizo, potatoes and guacamole was awesome and was a solid way to start the day.

sassy eggssassy finished

For the rest of the day, we vowed once we walked back into his house we weren’t walking out again for any reason. We were going to have to survive on beer and whatever pizza we could get delivered, though we did diversify with thin and Chicago-style.

Pregame was a mix of ESPN and Fox. Gamewise, started the day with Brett Favre’s return and the launch of Percy Harvin’s stellar year for my fantasy team. Enjoyed my’ Giants defeat the Redskins in the middle. Then watched Furr’s Bears and Jay Cutler throw away a game to an amped up Green Bay defense.

By the time the day was over, I had almost 100 fantasy football points and a big chunk of lost brain cells. Besides a lengthy wait on the plane for a switch to be repaired before takeoff, this trip went off without a hitch. This was a good reason for the hermit to go mobile.

Written by the bee dub

September 16, 2009 at 9:59 am

Brett Favre Update: Rehab

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I’ve learned from several unreliable sources that Brett Favre’s return to the NFL has taken a detour into an unnamed rehabilitation facility. Apparently, at the urging of his friends, associates and the general public at large, Brett has checked himself in for treatment of addiction to retirement announcements and retirement-related press conferences.

Some time late yesterday, Favre walked into a hotel room and was greeted with an ‘intervention’ that was mediated by Michael Vick, of all people. According to Vick, “Brett’s got to man up and admit that he’s lost grip on reality. A few bitch slaps to the head got him thinking things through a little clearer. Plus we had the sound effect of a rabid, angry dog playing from behind a closed closet door. That seemed to make him more agreeable.”

These same sources indicate that Favre will begin an intensive course of treatment that is said to include yoga, organic chewing ‘tobacco’ made from cured wildflowers and being forced to play Madden on an Xbox as any player but himself. It is unknown how long this course of treatment may take. Calls to Favre, Favre’s associates and anyone else on the matter were never made and thus, were never returned.

Written by the bee dub

August 19, 2009 at 9:49 am

Posted in NFL Ramblings

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