The Functional Hermit

musings from a homebody

Brett Favre Update: Rehab

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I’ve learned from several unreliable sources that Brett Favre’s return to the NFL has taken a detour into an unnamed rehabilitation facility. Apparently, at the urging of his friends, associates and the general public at large, Brett has checked himself in for treatment of addiction to retirement announcements and retirement-related press conferences.

Some time late yesterday, Favre walked into a hotel room and was greeted with an ‘intervention’ that was mediated by Michael Vick, of all people. According to Vick, “Brett’s got to man up and admit that he’s lost grip on reality. A few bitch slaps to the head got him thinking things through a little clearer. Plus we had the sound effect of a rabid, angry dog playing from behind a closed closet door. That seemed to make him more agreeable.”

These same sources indicate that Favre will begin an intensive course of treatment that is said to include yoga, organic chewing ‘tobacco’ made from cured wildflowers and being forced to play Madden on an Xbox as any player but himself. It is unknown how long this course of treatment may take. Calls to Favre, Favre’s associates and anyone else on the matter were never made and thus, were never returned.

Written by the bee dub

August 19, 2009 at 9:49 am

Posted in NFL Ramblings

Tagged with ,

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