The Functional Hermit

musings from a homebody

T.O. has B.O.?

with 2 comments

TO finally comes to terms with his body odor

TO finally comes to terms with his body odor?

The Dallas Cowboys have finally parted ways with the talented, unpredictable Terrell Owens. Now begins his search to find the fourth uniform to suit up in. He’s clearly got a few years left so it will be interesting to see where he ends up.

A few seasons ago, there was a Cleveland Browns fan who put up an end zone banner that read, “T.O. has B.O.” Now T.O. clearly has talent so I have to wonder, maybe teams keep cutting him because he simply smells. You never think body odor is that big of a deal until you have to be in close proximity to it day in and day out. Then every whiff starts having a cumulative effect; the five-hundredth whiff becoming monumentally more offensive than the first.

To date, for the unofficial record, it is alleged that he has called out his first quarterback as gay, his second a stool pigeon to management and his third a conniving offensive-coordinator wannabe who creates secret plays for preferred players behind closed doors. I only wish he was also a methamphetamine-fueled womanizer and dog-fighting baron to give the madness more depth and dimension.

If nothing else, I for one want to thank Terrell for giving this football fan something to read about during the offseason. There’s only so much pre-draft hype a man can read without another subject to break the monotony. Besides, if you’re a Giants fan like me you know all this pre-draft buildup only results in the G-men drafting a defensive back in the first round, like most every other year.


Written by the bee dub

March 5, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Posted in NFL Ramblings

Tagged with ,

2 Responses

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  1. Addition by subtraction – buh-bye TO!

    My lasting image of TO is him as a 49er, dancing on the Cowboys’ star at midfield and then getting leveled by George Teague.

    To this day, George Teague is one of my favorite Cowboys of all time…


    March 6, 2009 at 3:02 pm

  2. They should put him in the ring of honor for that shit.

    funtional hermit

    March 7, 2009 at 2:53 pm

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